Top Ten Things

In honor of the anniversary of our tenth year of marriage, I awoke this morning feeling peculiarly compelled to write down the the top ten things I’ve learned in my first ten years of marriage.  I am sure you could add many things— feel free! These are just things I have learned, personally. Whether you’re single and looking toward marriage or been married ten times longer than I,  I believe these will be beneficial to read. My hope is that they will make you think and maybe smile. But most of all, that they will inspire you to hang in there and make your marriage last, against all odds. 

The Top Ten Things I’ve learned in my First Ten Years of Marriage…..

1. You gotta LAUGH a lot : We are funny creatures– we all do the dumbest things sometimes. Don’t take stuff so seriously all the time. Laugh it off. It’s good medicine. 

2. You gotta LET THINGS GO: There  is always something hurtful that was said or done in the past. You may think you are 100% in the right, and you may very well be. Let it GO… and don’t ever bring it up again. 

3. DO THINGS YOUR SPOUSE LIKES: Yeah. You know what they like… and you probably hate the thought of doing them. Get over yourself!! Surprise each other regularly. 

4. Work every day on getting BALANCED AND HEALTHY: Physically, emotionally, spiritually and (ladies especially) hormonally. 

5. BE TRANSPARENT: Don’t lie to each other! Pretty basic. Instead, purpose to tell each other everything from now on. 

6. Develop your TRUST in Someone (capitalization in the word “Someone” intended) OTHER THAN your SPOUSE: He /she is only human and cannot possibly fulfill all our needs. Your Creator knows your innermost parts, your every thought, your every word before you say it. Talk to Him. He is listening. 

7. GIVE: Give some of what you have to someone who needs it everyday…. your time, your money, your things, your talents… make it a lifestyle. You won’t believe how this makes things better. 

8. LET IT ROLL! The Holy Scriptures have some very wise words — you should read them if you haven’t yet, and read them again if you have. One of my favorite Proverbs says “Blessed is the man who overlooks an offense”. (yes, I know it says “man” lol. But I’m pretty sure that includes the ladies too). Seriously though, I think sometimes we look for things to be offended by. Stop that! Let it roll… right off your back. Move on. Forgive and forget. 

9. GET AWAY together. If you can afford it,  make a habit of going away together for a few days every once in a while. If not,  it can be as simple as taking a walk or a drive.  But make a habit of getting away from the hustle and bustle of life to spend some quality time together… Look at each other in the eyes and TALK.

10. Last, but definitely not least—TILL DEATH DO US PART: This phrase is top, among some of most powerful phrases ever written or said. And most  of us promised each other these very words on that blessed day, way back when. How quickly we forget!
When did it become okay to break our promises, no less one so very powerful? Remind yourself daily of these words and hang in there. Don’t take the easy path just ’cause everyone else is. It’s worth the work! 

*If this blessed you, please feel free to pass it on :) If you wanna chat about it, visit my website* www.rivkawhitten.com

  • FresnoJoe

    Amen~!

  • Ward

    From Ward in Missouri,
    Rivka, I really enjoyed your “Top Ten Things” on a successful marriage, George is a blessed man!  I’m giving a copy of your Top Ten to my son and soon to be daughter in law.  I’ll keep a copy for myself……. just in case the Lord decides to provide a wife for me someday.  Shalom dear friend.